My physical well being and my mood move together. It is possible to achieve a better mood briefly, but generally if I feel badly physically then I am also downhearted. Not self-pitying necessarily, but just down.
Is this a failure in my maturity? My spiritual development? Or is it my nature, and as such a veritable fact of life? Should I accept it or try to overcome the direct causal connection between my physical well being and my enjoyment of life? Do some people really dismantle this connection? Become impervious to physical pain? Mood-managers supreme! Nothing can dent their perfect happiness armor. Right. Who is that? Show me? I’m gonna have to call BS on that one.
I’ll tell you what I see all around me: I see suffering. Physical and emotional and spiritual suffering. Abundant suffering. Frowning and grimacing and trying to look expressionless to hide their unhappiness.
Seriously, happy people smile. I smile when I’m happy. Don’t you?
It’s scary out here.
stillwalkn 
Every day I read your blog and I am an awe of your bravery girl! Please be kind to yourself and forgiving. What you are trying to accomplish is so difficult and you are so honest about the process. Don’t give up and never find fault with your brave self! You will make it to where you are intended to be in the order the universe determines. Sending you positive energy and prayers!
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Blessings and love! Thank you so much for your positive feedback. Some days I wonder why I am doing this, but each day is better than the last.
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